What If You Dated a Horror Movie Super Villain? | Spooky Halloween Speed Dating


(bell dings) (fork clatters) (suspenseful music) – Hiya gorgeous. – Hi. – What a nice fork. Do you want it back? Take it. (bell dings) – I’m sorry. Smoking is just so nasty to me. (Joker grunts) (Joker laughs maniacally) (bell dings) – Once upon a time. – Once upon a time. – Once upon a time. – Oh, story time. (bell dings) (dramatic music) How flexible. (wheezing) Do you need some water? (slurping) – Oh my god, thank you so much. No one’s ever offered before. (bell dings) (“Halloween” theme) – Are you gonna sit down? (bell dings) (playful music) (Pennywise laughing) Help, please! (bell dings) Wow. – Hi. – Hi. What’s your favorite– (phone dings)
– One moment. (mask peeling) (bell dings) – Like a tank. – Here are your waters. – Thank you. (glass breaking)
(woman screaming) (glass breaking) You good? (bell dings) – I want to play a game. – Perfect, I love games. – Notice anything unusual? – Are those supposed to be mine? I think I feel something. – In five minutes– – Wait, no, sit– (bell dings) – Would you like a cookie? – That’s so sweet of you. Yes, I would. Cookie. (cookie breaking) (screams) (Pennywise laughs) (“Halloween” theme) That’s weird. That’s also weird, but
I think I kinda like it. (bell dings) – My mama wouldn’t like me
to be here ’cause it’s a sin. – It is? How? – Well, she thinks most things are sins. It’s hard. (wine splashing) – Miss, miss, I’m sorry. (table clattering)
(plates clattering) (bell dings) (wheels squeaking) – Hello, Shauna. – Hi, Hannibal. – You look delish. – Thank you. – I could just eat you
up with some fava beans and a nice ciante. – You’re a flirt. – Do you like wine? – I like a good pinot. Do you want something to eat? – I’m starving. – Can you eat with that on? – No. – ‘Cause I can take that off for you. Do you want me to take it off? – Please. (chair scraping) I’m sorry. Your homeboy over there just said no. – Next time. (bell dings) – I killed those four
people ’cause they were off. – That’s crazy. – You don’t listen very well, do you? – I’m sorry, work. – Every week you ask the same questions. – This is the first– – How’s your job? Do you have any negative thoughts? All I have are negative thoughts. – Same. (bell dings) – I just have to say you are stunning. You glow from the inside out. It’s the kind of glow
that can only be achieved from regular, daily maintenance, and it’s not easy to set
a routine for yourself that’s about you – Are you?
– in a world that wants to take–
– Are you talking to yourself? – It’s a group conversation. – Has this been–
– Yes. (bell dings) (romantic music) – Surprisingly, that’s
just not doing it for me. Are we outta time yet? (bell dings) (slow romantic music) (upbeat hip-hop music) No, uh-uh, uh-uh, no. No, no, no. (bell dings) (sighs) (bell dings) Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. (Beetlejuice grunts) – I forgot I had those in there. Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being rude. Do you want some? – Oh no, I’m good. – Okay. Do ya ever wanna get married? – Yes, I’d love to eventually. – Okay, that seals it! Let’s get married. (Shauna laughing nervously) There ya go. We’ll get married.
– Oh my god. – Hey, maybe we’re moving too fast. No, it’s just cold feet. I don’t even know her parents. I don’t even know her last name. – Hey, wait a minute. – Hey. – No, no, I can’t do this, no. – What, no you–
– No, no. No.
– No takesie backsies. – You said yes.
– No, I said no. – I said no, hey.
– No, please, please. Please no.
– Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
– I can get a 10, anyways. You’re a five. (exploding) (bell dings) – Do you like Billie Eilish? Millennials misunderstood her by the time her breakthrough album “When We All Go To Sleep, Where
Do We All Go” was released. But Gen Z already knew there was something far more earnest there. Not this Lorde-Lana Del Ray hybrid with Yeezus era production that Millennials seem
to think that she is. (bell dings) – Bye-bye. – Bye. – Oh, and Shauna, one more thing. – Yes? – I love your outfit. – Thank you. (Hannibal gasps) (bell dings) So it says here you like camping and mo-mor-Mordor?
(ghostly breathing) Do you hear that? Sounds like somebody is
breathing in my ear, oh my god. (bell rings) – A shadow loved a girl. (scissors clicking) – You wanna get outta here? Yeah, let’s go. (suspenseful music)

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